Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Y Drive The Yukon XL?

How can the community with the largest amount of overtly large vehicles have a transportation problem? What's the problem you ask? A ninth hour fire drill to round up parents to participate in a school field trip or cancel. I found it incredible that the local MILF faction can't take time from all the prim and primp of running clothing daze filled with who the f*%k knows what. I see a sociological dissertation in the making, or maybe I shall use it for my J school application but here's the Crux of my bitch fest rant: Couldn't a few more of the Yukon XL crowd pony up their school bus largess and play martyr mommy for the day at the Children's Museum?

I know the next thought from you will be" why be upset about something you can't control?"
You should know that the list is long with many things I can and can not control but my antagonist side says be equal opportunity in picking battles. So large and small I pick them all.
What else do I have to do that's more important than loading kids up for a fun day at the Museum. Nada. I LOVE the whole ah-ha moment of herding kittens which is exactly what K and 3rd graders are. Sans a taser .

The real impetus for this rant?

I must confess it involved my Mini Cooper in the car line of Dave's Ave school for afternoon pickup basically parked in by two (U guessed it, XL's)... It felt like a vehicular gang bang. Crankiness ensued and forced smiles traded with the taloned, tanned, and pony tailed velour track suits. "Oh, soo sorry to park you in. We didn't see you. Yeah, it's tough with your head that far up your, forget it.....Deep breath...soooo zen girl (me) has a plan to enjoy her hurry scurry day tomorrow and report back any other funny suburban stories that involve yours truly.


Maria R said...

OMG, do you know how to convey an experience! I just aspirated my red wine over the "vehicular gang bang" comment.
Boy do I know how you feel! I've walked my kids to St. Mary's daily for the past 6 years, and I've almost been hit (by accident, I assume) by my kids' classmates' moms in their SUVs. Maybe if they set down their cellphones and lattes, they'd have a better grip on the steering wheel and remember that they are in control (somewhat) of a lethal machine. But I digress... most of these jumbo gas-guzzlers only have one or two kids in them. Don't they OWE the community and the planet the option to fill all those seats?! I think part of registering such a vehicle should oblige the driver to be available for all field trips! (I can only fit three kids in my car, and I drive almost all the time!)

Anonymous said...

the problem u have is your car has no tude..u need a vessel with some soul..

i know mini's have a how many lads from liverpool used to fit in one...

but the new mini's (made by BMW, aka break my window) r reserved 4 the britney bubble gum crowd..or driven by meterosexual middleaged men with rodebikes on the roof..

so stop being the creme filling between XL's..and go get yourself an H-1 hummer like our will earn the respect of all MILFKIND..

BTW-so nice to c you back 2 snarky :)

Anonymous said...

I tend to see an inverse correlation with the size of vehicles to house size. Carbon footprint NEVER enters the equation.

The Buzz said...

BTW- I purposefully drive a car sans tude. I forgot to mention the true bonus of driving a mini, other than feeling the funness of a go cart-it's the smile and wave from other drivers because it evokes a cuteness that can't be contained...The fact that it's a BMW, well I just try to forget that..